"Sexuality should not be seen as dualistic – all good or all bad – but as a good part of our created nature that is constantly in need of repair."
How open are we when it comes to talking about sex? We are all so captivated, yet intimidated and shy about sex. It always seems to play in the back of our own minds. My question is just how much are we appreciative of our sexuality?
While growing up, we are not taught a great deal about the truth behind our own sexuality. Society has not allowed us to experience our true sexuality or what it really means to its full extent. This seems to be so, especially where religion is concerned. There is always the conflict about sexuality within religions on the whole.
What is it that we are afraid of when we come to talk about our sexuality? How well do you communicate your needs and preferences of your sexuality with your partner? Or do you even know what your sexual needs and preferences are? How acceptant are you of our own sexuality?
To begin with, we live in a society which has been based upon many old thoughts and ideas that are really no longer functional. These ‘ideas’ have been, in many instances, dictated to us by our own religions and the circumstances we grew up in. Sex has grown to become something we are fearful of in both our conscious and sub-conscious minds. So much so that we are no longer aware of how to approach or handle the subject! In reality, we should not allow this to be an obstacle or a setback in sexual life. We must now take the initiative to try to figure out our own sexuality.
What is Sexuality? Sexuality is defined as the individual inclination of any human soul for their sexual preference.
Sexuality is an individual, shared and energy-centered affair. Through time we have allowed ourselves to become accustomed to a set of rules in terms of how other people view and judge us when it comes to our own sexuality. What is right and wrong?
In order to embrace sexuality as a whole, you must first identify your own sexual preferences. I believe this is one of the most important factors in this subject and it is very important that you discover it for yourself and accept it as something that is a part of you and not something you should be afraid of. Are you homosexual, heterosexual, bi-sexual or whatever else you can possibly be sexually? Regardless of your sexual orientation, sex is still an individual, shared and energy-centered affair, don’t you agree? Both men and women alike sometimes have problems identifying their own sexuality. Let’s be honest here, even from time to time we do have the tendency to imagine, at least, somewhere in the back of our minds, what it would be like to be with a partner of the same sex. Being continuously evolving human souls we have already experimented in different past lives with being either of the sexes in order to bring our soul to grow- having balanced experiences with both the male and female energies.
I believe the problem concerning the way some people look at and judge each other by stereotyping someone by their sexual preference is wrong. Let’s take a gay or lesbian human soul for example- Why do we insist upon stereotyping them from the crowd? Oh! I forgot they are not normal! Well according to what or to whom? How do we define what is really ‘NORMAL’?
Yeah now I remember, it was according to biology and the human reproduction system and also those attitudes we learned from religion and culture. Why do we need to reproduce? There are numerous issues that influence us in terms of religious beliefs and in many cases such religious issues thrive upon forcing fear and guilt upon us for embracing our sexuality openly and by using that fear and guilt, they enable that religion to keep control of people. It grows as we pass those beliefs down to our children and them to their children and throughout the many generations. That alone helps the religion sustain its own growth with everyone reinforcing the same belief system. Then, is it basically for our own advantage or for the advantage of the belief system?
Different Aspects of Sexuality Which Exist Within Three Levels:
First, Sex as an Individual Act
We have been taught since early childhood and throughout our upbringing by some belief system that exists out there to be ashamed, fearful, and un-easy about our individual sexuality and that it is against God’s wishes for us to embrace it in terms of understanding our body and our own sexuality.
Sex is energy, God is energy, and we are part of that energy. We are brought up being told not to enjoy our individual acts of sexuality because it is dirty. We were always made to feel guilty about doing it. When I talk about this ‘individual act of sexuality,’ what I am referring to is the act of masturbation or self-pleasuring. Why have we been deprived of expressing our own personal sexual needs as an individual? The main reasons for this relate to what I stated previously. Our individual sexual act is a natural phenomenon for either men or women, and this can not only provide us with personal satisfaction, but it can also serve as an energy release system which helps us have a clearer mind which will enable us to conduct our life and grow more effectively in this lifetime. There is absolutely nothing wrong with bringing some joy and pleasure to yourself at any private time you wish to. By doing so, you will empower yourself by bringing awareness to your body about your sexual needs and desires which will be helpful when you are sharing yourself with your partner when you are in a relationship.
Second, Sex as a Shared Act
So, we can go as far as we can with identifying our own sexuality. However, this will also bring us to the fact that what happens between two people sexually is also their own act of privacy, regardless if it is classed as being ‘normal’ within our own belief system.
When two people are engaged in an act of intimacy between themselves, we have no right to judge them, and in reality, their affairs are not even our business, therefore, we shouldn’t care! But why do some people persist on letting it become their business by judging and criticizing people who are different from them? The answer is very simple -- because they are bored and have ‘no life’ of their own, so they use other people’s affairs to fulfill that boredom -- they need to gossip!
Let’s see -- Why should it be that Britney Spears’ sex life, for example, is so important to everyone? Does she owe us something more- now she must make her private life public to the whole world? Why on earth do we feel the need to learn about her sexual preference? She can sing and dance and entertain us very nicely -- Is that not enough to keep us occupied? Why don’t we question President Bush about his sexual preference? How about the reporters who are bringing us the juice about Britney’s sexual habits? How comfortable are they in telling us about their own sexual habits? How about you, the reader? Are you open to telling us about your sexual habits, or do you just want to hear someone else’s and judge them according to what you hear, regardless if the story is true or not? What makes the famous people’s gossip, particularly their sexuality, so important to us? Aren’t they just like you and I, being human souls, regardless of if they are famous or not?
Sex as a shared act, the majority of time, takes place between two people but regardless of the situation, it is not the business of yours or mine, and it’s not appropriate to judge. Unless of course you are ready and prepared to ‘spill your guts’ and talk about yourself for a change!
Third, Sex as an Energy-Centered Act
More and more often these days we are seeing so many different sex websites, and the popularity of these sites is reaching an all-time high. This is because our understanding of sex and sexuality is all wrong. It is not only an act in itself between two people. It is not just for reproduction. Ideally, sex should be more open, and people should be more at ease to talk about it and express their own feelings rather than suppressing them.
Sex is individual, shared between two people, and it is also the act of opening our sexual energy. In reality, sex is a major opening for us to learn more about ourselves on different levels.
Sex is an energy-centered act and what I mean by this is, when two souls become involved a relationship of growth together, sex becomes the main source of exchanging their energy with each other. To attain that level of energy exchange at a soul level requires both people involved in the relationship to accept that growth. It cannot work with input from only one person. Sexual energy is about dropping all your reservations, dropping all ideology, dropping all your walls and basically opening all of your gates for your partner. It is about seeing yourself as the image of your partner’s eye when two souls are joined in their sexual action and performance together.
You are the image of your partner, and it is through that image you grow.
In order to create an energetically established relationship, you must be in the right relationship with the right partner in the first place. How many of us today are with the right partner and for the right reasons? How many of us are strong and wise enough that they do not allow their past experiences to interfere in their new ones? How many of us have the courage to accept and allow a new experience to take place in their lives with a new partner they have met? How many of us openly accept our partner for being the way they are and not the way in which we want them be? How many of us are willing to take that extra plunge into some unknown and unfamiliar territory?
Our universe consists of an abundance of energies which exist all around us. These energies exist as the people we meet in our daily routines, the objects we touch, our state of mind and our well-being. Sexual energy is connected to the vastness of energy which is available for our access and at our own disposal. Why don’t we make full use of these energies? The answer is very simple! Again, it is our narrow-minded, ‘human’ way of thinking. How many of us believe that if things in this world cannot be proven by science, then it means they do not exist? How many of us believe and react to new opinions or observations with, “That’s not the way I learned from my religious teachings!” How many of us believe that our parents dismissed such theories on the conclusion that they do not fit within the traditions and family belief systems and perhaps they were concerned with what other people would SAY about them if they thought that way?
Learn how to open your gates and drop your human shield without creating any expectations of your partner for what they will do or don’t do for or to YOU. Do not bring any of your old baggage into new relationships. It is not the same energy. This is not the same person you are involved with now. Until you learn how to do this, you will risk running into the same patterns of your old relationship situations. Learn to let go, forgive yourself and others and move on in your life.
How successfully we can build our sexual energy in our relationships reflects how much we are willing to try our best to bring comfort to our partner. This requires cooperation between both partners without one being left behind. The “ME, ME, ME…” style of attitude will defeat the purpose of this intention, and we will always find ourselves in stagnation until we learn the relationship is not all about us. We are or at least ‘should be’ the reflection of ourselves in our partner. The more we invest in our partner, the more we will see that investment being returned to us, but multiplied. Do not allow fear to interfere for there is no place for it here. When you invest fully in your partner and know you have done your best to do so, you should never be hurt moving on after the time comes for your relationship to end. You will never feel regret or guilt by saying, “What if I did this or that?” There is no, “what if,” in our life. When you know you have invested your best into making it work, there is only, “I did my best to make the best I could’ve out of my experience in that relationship,” and with that you will be able to move on in peace into a new relationship experience.
When one partner is not ready to invest there is nothing you can do. However, if you see that they are trying to do their best to make things work, then help, but without abusing them or taking advantage of them.
So, on a final note, invest in your relationships, invest in exploring your sexuality and invest in your growth because in the end, it is all about you! You are always the winner at the end. Just think about that for a moment!